If you happened to miss the Men's Figure Skating and the Ice Dancing during this years Olympics you definatley missed out on some high quality entertainments. I wouldn't want you to miss it so I will give you a recap of how I called both events. First we'll start with ice dancing.

Good evening and welcome to another great night of ice dancing. For those of you who are rather unfamiliar with this sport. It is an event that is well loved by those who really have nothing better to love. There are a few prerequisites to qualify as a competitor in this sport. Let's briefly review them.

1. The male partner must have a hair cut that is similar to one of the big hair bands form the 80's.

2. The female partner must dye her hair the color of one of the Olympic rings.

3. Either one or both of the partners must put their costume through a shredder and then must somehow figure out how to wear it during the performance.

Now for the competition. One pair after another dances around doing the exact same thing. No one is allowed to jump for fear that they will resemble "pairs figure skating" and then their sport will be discontinued because in "pairs figure skating" they dance and jump.

With the dance competition over, we will now move onto the men's competition. Today the first skater is a Russian. He seems to be wearing some type of shirt that resembles a large pink kleenex and of course the required tight pants. . . . . . . . . . . He skated a wonderful performance. He is obviously very happy with his performance. You can see the tears in his eyes. Fortunately he is wearing a large kleenex.

Now for the American, Timothy Gable. . . . . . . . . . . . What a brilliant show he put on!!! Timothy's technical scores should be very high because of his athletic ability. Unfortunately the score for his presentation, which looks at artistic ability, won't be as high because he just skates around with both of his arms straight out. The judges give higher scores to skaters who flap their hand around a lot. Hopefully by the next winter Olympics Timothy learns to flap. Here are the scores. Ohhh, much lower than we expected. You can see his disappointment as he is wiping his eyes on the large Russian kleenex.

I would give the ice dancing and male figure skating a four out of five stars on the Unintentional Comedy Rating. It's high comedy. Make sure you tune in next time.