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"One time Marc was like driving around Provo and he saw this bum and he was like 'Hey Bum, do you want some money?' and the dude like nodded and then like Marc threw the dude all the change he had. Thats the kinda dude Marc is, he is like always helping the bums. So if he is like helping the bums than you know he is gonna like help us all." Steve Risenmay
"One time my car broke down and I was walking home and like Marc drove by and he was like totally honking and stuff and pretending to hit me with his car. But he didn't hit me, he was just goofing around. Thats the kinda dude Marc is, he won't hit you with his car but he'll come really close. So don't be scared, he probably is just messin' with you." Steve Risenmay
"One time at work I asked Marc if he had ever watched that movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and he was like 'Hell ya, I love that movie' and he started doing this whole Oompa Lumpa routine thing, and he was like all dancing around and stuff. He like knew all the words and everything. Thats the kinda dude Marc is, he like likes the same stuff I like. So he should totally be mayor of Provo, cause like at his inaugural address he is totally going to do the Oompa Lumpa dance again for everyone, he promised this to me but he could have been joking." Steve Risenmay
"I heard from this one dude that Marc Morgan actually invented the left turn signal. Before that time people would make three right turns to go left or they would like stick their heads out the window and yell 'I'm going left!'. Well Marc put a stop to all that madness and totally invented the left turn signal. See that is the kinda dude Marc is, he is concerned for people's safety. He also is the type a guy who invents stuff. I think thats the kinda guy we need as mayor here in Provo." Steve Risenmay
"One time I was like really tired at work and Marc was like 'Take a few of these' and he like gave me these pills. He never said what they were but I will tell you this much they worked really good. For the next 38 hours I was wide awake and I got lots of stuff done. Marc is the type of dude that will hook you up with his spare pharmaceuticals. Thats a handy friend to have. Lets make him mayor of Provo so he can hook us all up." Steve Risenmay
"One time Marc was driving out to California and he stopped for some gas in Mesquite Nevada and this dude saw his Utah plates on his car and was like 'Hey man, you from Utah?' and Marc was like 'Well I grew up in Michigan but I live in Utah now' and the dude was like 'Utah sucks man' and Marc pretended to agree with him but really he was just getting the dude to trust him and so then he offers to buy the dude a drink at the bar inside the casino and so they're like drinking and Marc totally poisons the dude and buries him in the desert. And as he shoveled the last thing of dirt on the dude he was like 'thats for bagging on Utah man!". You see, Marc sticks up for Utah even though he is from Michigan. So chances are he is gonna stick up for Provo too." Steve Risenmay
"I hear that Marc likes to write drinkin' songs about pirates. I've never heard him sing one but I'd like to think that he is pretty good at it. I hope that in his pirate songs he doesn't say bad stuff about Provo cause that could really hurt his campaign and I have contributed 50 bucks allready. I'm not about to let his no good pirate songs ruin things for Provo. Marc if you are reading this please stop all the pirate songs, they can only hurt you." Steve Risenmay
"There is a story about Marc that sounds crazy but like I totally believe. Marc once worked as a rodeo clown on the moon. Wait a second that story is kinda unbelievable. Come to think of it there is no possible way there could be rodeos on the moon. That is like the last time I buy discount Marc Morgan stories from the janitor." Steve Risenmay
"Last week I asked Marc what he would do first if he was elected mayor of Provo. He said he would set up Mormon/Non-Mormon drinking fountains. He says he is tired of 'all the blanking Mormons always getting their cooties all over the public drinking fountains'. At first I thought it was a pretty horrible idea but now I am beginning to see like the validity of the whole thing. Kudos to you Marc Morgan defender of Mormon and Non-Mormon alike." Steve Risenmay
"One time Marc modeled in the 1996 Victoria Secret Spring catalog. He wore this satin teddy thing and posed seductively on a leather couch. I was amazed how good Marc looked but I think if these pictures ever get out his campaign for mayor might be like in trouble." Steve Risenmay
"Most people don't know that Marc has like previous political experience. Oh ya, its true. Marc was Secretary of The Interior under the Carter Administration. Thats how he was able to get me my fake ID....The dude has connections! Sure he served some time in Federal Prison for embezzlement but I am sure he is like totally sorry. That should be like his motto: 'Vote for Marc, cause he is like sorry for embezzling that money' That sounds good!" Steve Risenmay
"One time Marc had this dream that he had met this leprechaun and that the leprechaun like showed him where is gold was. In this dream Marc filled up one of his socks with the gold coins and then jacked the leprechaun dude over the head with them. I asked him why he hit the little dude and he was like "You can't trust leprechauns man, haven't you ever seen those Lucky Charms commercials? Besides, the gold wasn't for me man! It was for Provo!" That made me happy that Marc would clock a leprechaun and risk bad luck forever just to get Provo some gold. Too bad it was just a dream cause Provo needs a zoo and that gold could get us some monkeys and lions and stuff. Steve Risenmay
"A long time ago Marc drove a big truck for like the circus. One day the owner of the circus was like 'Hey Marc one of the clowns died, can you be a clown?' and Marc was like 'Hey man, that isn't in my job description, Marc Morgan ain't a clown for nobody!'. Ya Man! Marc Morgan ain't no clown, not like the current mayor of Provo Lewis K. Billings who I hear was like a clown for Halloween like 7 years ago." Steve Risenmay
"Most people don't know that Marc Morgan is totally bilingual. Ya, he like totally knows Esperanto the international language of love. As you can imagine this skill comes in pretty handy at his day job doing tech support for the recently ranked #1 ISP in the country. I call it his day job because I imagine that at night he fights crime like Batman. Anyways, one time Marc answers the phone at his job and this dude was like speaking Spanish or Puerto Rican or something and Marc like busted out some Esperanto on this dude. It took awhile and the dude actually hung up twice and Marc had to like call him back but eventually everything worked out. Marc doesn't give up! Horray for Marc and his language skills!" Steve Risenmay
"Marc loves animals and little children and all of God's creatures great and small. Except for bugs, he hates them. And come to think of it he isn't too fond of Eskimos. He is always like saying 'Those damn Eskimos are always hogging all the really nice icebergs up there in Alaska'. I was like kinda worried that this bias against our Inuit brothers might have a negative effect on the voting public, so I like commissioned this survey to find out how many Eskimos lived in Provo. Luckily for Marc the independent accounting firm of Price Waterhouse Cooper could only find like one person of Eskimo descent in Provo and he is like this mentally handicapped dude working at the local Taco Time. His coworkers call him Taco Tim because his name in Eskimo talk translates roughly to Timothy. Taco Tim can't even vote dude. So I say 'Hate on Mayor Marc!' your ill conceived diatribe against Eskimos shouldn't hurt you at all."Steve Risenmay
"Marc told me that one time he was running low on cash and all he had to eat was some surplus cocktail sauce he got from a buddy of his in the Army. He managed to make all sorts of delicious meals from that 30 gallon drum. He even made a high proof whiskey distilled exclusively from cocktail sauce and mustard. He said it was hard to get his needed protein, but he made it to payday and that is what matters. So if Marc can stretch his personal budget then you know he can help Provo's budget. And if he can get us some of that leprechaun gold than we can finally get that zoo and those Mormon/Non-Mormon drinking fountains that we so desperately need. Steve Risenmay
"Marc volunteers at the local soup kitchen here in Provo. Coincidentally Marc also runs his own business selling Brother Brigham's Celestial Soup. He says its easy to turn a profit when you have no overhead, but I didn't understand what he meant. He says he is making enough cash to start up a new product line called Jack Mormon Stew, which strangely enough tastes identical to the Celestial Soup. Marc Morgan you are the Soup King!" Steve Risenmay